“‘Tis but a fuckin’ flesh wound.”
I’m sure that Rooney crying tears of blood is one of the signs of the apocalypse.
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KDB can fuck off! 10 goals in 2 games for City and he has one poxy assist! He’s coming out of my fantasy team, useless bloody Belgian!
I’m also putting Morata in, he’s getting the golden boot this season, I just know it.
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City and Chelsea killing it, United struggling a little to get over the line. Think we’ll see a lot more of this
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Morata with a hatrick.
“He’s no Costa” though and Lukaku is better eh? 
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1 goal and 2 assists for Sanè. Not bad for my FPL.
Delph with a beauty for City, 5-0
Gonna be another shit season
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Fucking horrible seeing Morata at Chelsea. Really enjoy watching him play 
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Triple captained Aguero but expected more than just a goal and assist v Palace 
Even Delph got on the scoresheet but still feck all for KDB. I took Sane out a few weeks ago as he wasn’t starting.
Man City are ridiculous at the moment. Playing some sexy stuff.
It’ll be City or Chelsea who win it for me. United still look a little weaker than both to me, despite them being joint top.
Are Palace gonna win a single point this season? 
Without Pogba their midfield is pretty mediocre, the real test is on the way as they will play Spuds, Chelsea and Liverppol within their next five games.
Pep fucked me over today, made Jesus my captain and he didn’t play FFS.
I fucking captained David Silva instead of Morata fml
Oh shut up. At least you have them both. Some of us have neither 
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A hatrick against a Stoke side during a CB crisis shouldn’t be the basis for deciding Morata is better than Lukaku and/or Costa.
He may well be better, but that game in isolation doesn’t change anything really.
Palace were unlucky not to score again, I think they’ll get off the mark against United, but will still lose both to be 8 straight losses
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Salah misses a sitter…then scores a few minutes later