I'm not an idiot, Jake, I just object to the common assertion that a city that's spelled Санкт-Петербу́рг is in Europe. Looking at a map I think that's an Asian city in an Asian country and their football players should compete in Asian tournaments!
To be honest, I really don't care if they call themselves Asian or something entirely different, as long as it's not "European". The problem are not the Russians, however. I'd happily expand the EU all the way to China if it wasn't for that small part of darkness between Lower Saxony and Poland, which shall not be named.