I wasn't sure if this was the right place to post this or if I should have created a new thread, I think here just seemed more appropriate. Please inform me if I was wrong.
Again, it's Monday morning and I didn't go to work, for which I will repeatedly torture myself for letting the team down, etc. I've recently moved to Melbourne from the other side of Australia with the "missus" (we aren't married... but might aswell be) and have been working for a company for a few months who are great. Unfortunately about a month ago I got really depressed and took a week off work because I just couldn't face it and/or them. I'm 30 next year, and I feel like I'm a fucking child again that doesn't want to go to school or some shit. Adulting shouldn't be this difficult, but I am really struggling. My new boss has been very supportive since I informed him of my "mental health issues" even though it basically involves giving me some time off. Since then, I feel as though sometimes my coworkers feel that they are walking on eggshells around me, they needn't however. But I can completely understand why they feel that way. I'm far from social, don't like most people, but when it comes to work I can put on a front that shows the complete opposite. The depression has been there for years, and was diagnosed with bipolar a few years ago. A bit like @Cristo, I need somewhere to vent and I don't think my psych is going to be able to handle it. So, there will be some shit dribbled and perhaps even some controversial opinions, but please sling as much shit as you feel is necessary.
Like I said, I didn't go to work today, again. I just can grasp the concept of having to work 5 days a week and then have 2 days off. And it's really been pissing me off lately. To clarify, I don't agree with it. Now, most people tell me "well you have to work if you want to be able to afford all those nice things", which is a fair statement, which lead me to one conclusion; the problem lies hither -> $/£/€/¢. I could get all extremist and start posting TZM articles etc but I'm sure most of you are smart enough to know what I am talking about and can read between the lines. I'm not like full anti-Government but fuck, what an abortion of a lifestyle we have to live in todays society. Something big needs to change, and it's going to take something even bigger to make that happen, whether that be WW3, fucking aliens, some kind of fucked up pandemic, I don't know. TBH, I'd rather see it happen sooner rather than later.
I don't trust many people, which seems a bit contradictory posting this on here, but it's true and I've taken a far more "fuck it" approach to things recently. I've accept the notion that I've got bipolar, I think I just get sad sometimes but I am no expert. I have been seeing a new psych since moving here which is helping. The missus has been really supportive too, I couldn't have asked for a better partner. She has suggested I find a job that I like, which will involve completing some courses in something I would consider to be enjoyable. Maybe even set up a small business. I hate the fact that that it's all about money. Am I being completely unrealistic and/or is there something wrong with my fucking programming? Money never used to phase me that much, I've always been financially comfortable, but I think since we decided to build a house and look at a negative 6-figure amount every month is starting to bother me. It's bizarre how someone just pays for your house, takes most of what you earn for most of your life, and then you get to have a little bit of what is left. Until you die. I've heard 99% of people on this earth own 1% of the worlds money, the 1% has the rest. I don't know if this is true, or if the figures are different, but it wouldn't fucking surprise me in the slightest. And it sickens me. I refuse to live like that.
I'm off to play some Fifa 14 World Cup Ultimate Team. Fucking EA.